It's Not Summer Without You

 February 25th, 2024

Rate: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Cry: 😢😢

"I release you. I evict you from my heart. Because if I don't do it now I never will."

"I didn't want to make the same mistake my parents made. I didn't want my love to fade away one day like an old scar. I wanted it to burn forever."

"I hated him more than anything. I loved him more than anything. Because he was everything. And I hated that too."

"It's all relative, I suppose. You think you know love; you think you know real pain, but you don't. You don't know anything."

"Underneath my lashes, I watched him, and I thought, Come back. Be the you I love and remember."

At the end of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" we left off with questions unanswered. Did Belly and Conrad get together? Did Susannah get better? What about Jeremiah's attraction to Belly? There were so many things left unsaid. When I started reading, "It's Not Summer Without You" I thought for sure, that this installment would cure me of all the off-putting things from the first book. When in fact the second book did the exact opposite. 

I don't know why but I always find myself rooting for the relationship that seems more damning in the end, and it's seriously depressing sometimes. I waited and waited for Conrad to come to his senses and make Belly his girlfriend. When it finally happened, I didn't feel the rush I normally felt when the girl gets the guy she always wanted. Instead, I found myself sadder. Possibly because Conrad and Belly just seemed to be a distraction for Conrad. I really don't think that his heart was really in that relationship. Honestly to me, it felt like maybe in the beginning he wanted it but then his mother pushed him more into it because she knew how Belly felt about him and that maybe they would end up together and that in the end things would be ok. 

But the sicker Susannah got, the worse things seemed to go for Conrad, and by extension Belly. It hurt my heart when Belly's prom came around. A moment for all girls to be the center of attention to their dates and feel like a beautiful princess for one night and just have fun. But Conrad, Jesus I never wanted to throat punch a guy more. And I mean to a point I completely understand, his mom is dying, and a prom seems trivial but at the same time, he chose Belly, why couldn't he continue to choose her? Why couldn't he make her a priority? That prom was supposed to be a night that belly would never forget, to be filled with magical memories. Turns out it was indeed the night to remember for the rest of her life. The moment she looked at him and just knew, that it was over made me cry. To be so young and be so in love with a boy you have known all your life, just to look at him and know that in that moment, everything leading up to now, to know that you never really meant anything to him. It's devastating. Belly Definity deserves better.

I thought that things couldn't get worse but then Susannah passed away and I knew that Belly's breaking point was just up ahead, so I held my breath. And ya girl Belly did not disappoint.

The day of Susannah's funeral, Belly and Conrad have not seen or spoken to each other since Belly's prom night, so it's been a few months, she goes to bring food to Conrad and sees him lying in the lap of his ex-girlfriend. Immediate emotional damage on an already emotional shitty day. knowing that he's been caught he tries to talk to Belly, but this girl is not hearing none of it ok. In front of God and everyone at Susannah's wake she looks Conrad dead in the eyes and says, "Go to hell!" like my girl! Dayummm!!!! To be fair I would have told Conrad the same damn thing, because that boy had the straight fricken audacity to look at Belly and tell her that he never should have dated her. Emotional Blow Much Man?! Like you just buried your mother and she's already rolling over in her grave, Jesus Christ dude! 

That was the end of Conrad and Belly.

Months go by, and suddenly it's summer again. The first summer without Susannah and the first summer that Belly hasn't been in Cousin Beach. 6 months, and this girl has just been drifting through her life, missing, you guessed it, Conrad. Nothing is getting Belly out of this slump.

But then she gets a phone call from Jeremiah, Conrad has gone missing from school and has turned his phone off. And it's like this girl came to life again. Anything for Conrad, even though he broke her heart. But the part that kills me the most is while the months have gone by, not only is Belly in a slump, but she's also feeling guilt, guilt over what she said to Conrad at his mother's funeral. I'm sorry but that boy deserved that verbal whip lashing. I probably would have said a few choice other things as well that don't belong in a young adult novel, if I am being honest here.

So, Jeremiah picks up Belly and they drive to Brown to see why Conrad just took off. All his roommate said is that he got a phone call and took off, but if he doesn't come back, he will flunk out of his classes. The only possible place that Conrad could be is Cousin's Beach. So away Jeremiah and Belly go to rescue Conrad. Except Conrad doesn't need saving according to him.

I get that losing a parent is going to change you, but Conrad changed so much and so drastically that it hurts his character development. Turns out their dad is trying to sell Susannah's beach house and Conrad is putting up a fight, but their dad isn't budging. So, they resign themselves to the fact that the beach house is going to be gone, and decide to have one last hooray, so they throw a party. Belly has never been drunk and this being her first time and mixed with an emotional rollercoaster does not equal a good time. So, what does Belly do? She picks a fight with Conrad and then apologizes for what she said to him at Susannah's funeral. Conrad, well he just brushes it off, which just pisses Belly off more. And because she's at the beach house stuck with Jeremiah and Conrad without Susannah and she's drunk and unable to control her emotions, she drunk dials her mom, begging Laurel to come to the beach house and fix everything and then she passes out.

Laurel. Let's talk about Laurel for a moment. This is character that I feel deserves her own set of books, I want Laurel to have a happy ending. She's lost her best friend, and grief as you know changes a person. Laurel's grief journey shows to me the true meaning of what it's like to navigate real life grief. She becomes a shell of herself, she shuts herself away, she really can't move beyond her grief, and honestly, it's so relatable that's it's like a breath of fresh air to read about a character going through something so real.

Back to the story, Laurel shows up the next morning at the Beach House and she is mad as hell. Her and Belly get into a fight and start throwing shade at each other and then Belly tells Laurel that Susannah would hate the fact that she let the house get sold and that she wasn't there for her boys, and Laurel like snaps out of her grief and slaps Belly across the face.

Belly is in shock, just like Laurel is, and storms off to the beach with Jeremiah hot on her heels. But his intentions are a bit different then wanting to know if Belly is ok. He wants to know what happened between her and Conrad last night on the beach and if she's forgiven him and still wants Conrad. But Belly's mind is so far from Conrad at the moment that she doesn't really answer. 

They get back to the house and Belly and Laurel hug and talk it out and then preparations are made, Laurel is going to fight the boy's dad, to keep the house for the boys, and she wins. In the end the boys get to keep the house as long as Conrad doesn't flunk out of school. Which means he needs to study.

Allowed to stay with the boys to help the study session move along, Belly, and Jeremiah and Conrad pull and all nighter to make sure that Conrad will pass all his exams tomorrow.

On the way back to Brown the next day they get caught in a freak rainstorm and have to spend the night in a motel. The boys are sleeping on the floor both on opposite sides of the bed and Belly has the bed. But she can't sleep. Apparently nether can Conrad. He tells her that he lied. That he does want her, that he'll always want her. But she doesn't respond to him. She just lays there repeating what he said over and over in her head. 

They make it to Brown and Conrad is off to take his exams so It's just Jeremiah and Belly in the car. Belly tries to ask Jeremiah if Conrad ever talks about her when Jeremiah gets heated. But then catches her off guard when he suddenly kisses her. And this kiss, changes everything for Belly. She goes to ask Jeremiah if he still thinks about her, still wants her etc., except she can't get the whole question out, but Jeremiah knows because he always does and tells her, "Yeah, I still." and then they start kissing again, until the hear someone clear their throat...

Do I need to tell you who interrupts them? No, I don't think I do because at this point, I think you know...

Much like the first book, this one also ends on a cliff hanger. Are Jeremiah and Belly together? How does Conrad handle Belly and Jeremiah together? So many questions still! It's a bit unbearable!